yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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