So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize