the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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