he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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