dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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