VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
