ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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