I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
