OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
