my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
