She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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