guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
