I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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