Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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