I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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