drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wear drunk well.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
