If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
