that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
