In the future we'll all be gay
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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