Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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