My liver just broke up with me...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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