So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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