I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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