You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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