Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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