wat bout pragnant strippers??
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
