the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
