My friends, they love my intelligence
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
