We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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