had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
