Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
