He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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