Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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