So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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