Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
