on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
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Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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