If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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