her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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