Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
