This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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