You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
