Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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