The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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