i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
