Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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