Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
