If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
