hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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