Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
