he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This baby is an asshole
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
