Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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