"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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