We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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