mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
