There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
