WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
