why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
