Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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